Is there "Me"???

There’s so much to me… i never knew…
I am not completely ruined… i am not entirely rotten…
I am not completely wrong in “right vs easy”…
Inside is a rainbow of my own…
Not that I have not faced the cruel blacks of manipulation and power games…
Not I have not suffered the blues of sadness and loneliness…
Not that i have been immune to the dull grays of separation…
Not that i am unaware of the low shades of disappointment, defeat…
But….
I do have whites of truth and purity…
I still have the vibrancy of enthusiasm and determination…
I do cherish the reds of intense love and foreverness…
I still enjoy the soft pink of beauty…
I do fly with the highs of victory and achievement…
Still inside it is dark… not because of lack of shades…
but because every colour has been absorbed within…
Is this dark confusion beginning of some bright clarity…
I still have to unveil it for myself… because as of now…
Me… Myself is a distorted self…
caught in a war with self…
trying to figure out where i want to go?
towards “my natural self”???
or towards “the right self”???
or is there is a self that enjoys the colors of both…
is there “my best self”???